Monday, January 26, 2015

The Beast Is Rising... um, I mean Yeast. The Yeast is Rising.

My first yeast bread as an adult.
Cuz I'm A Big Girl Now!
I've always had this irrational fear of bread making. 
Yeah, I know.  But it's true.  So I finally decided to have my mother buy the uber-scary yeast (which I then tossed in the cupboard like a dead snake - if you've ever done hay you know what I'm talking about) and specifically avoided it for a few weeks.
Today, spurred on by the lack of smell in the positively mouth-watering picture of my friend's homemade bread, I decided to scale this particular cliff, confront and slay the Evil Yeast Beast and MAKE BREAD.

Using a modern recipe:

The reason for this is that it's (slightly) more certain than a historic recipe.  It also has reviews.  Good ones.

I'm using 1/2 pastry, 1/2 whole wheat flour vs. all purpose, mostly because it's what I had on hand. 
This was much easier than what I remember making bread being like... which is a huge, horrible, stinky, sticky mess.  This was not that at all.
First, it was scary (yeast is scary).  No, it really is scary.  Trust me.
Mixing it up was scary easy.

I was afraid it would be really sticky, and it was for like 8 seconds.

OK, maybe 12 seconds...

Then I kneaded it for 10 minutes, during which time I was no longer afraid.  Nor did I take pictures because my hands were all flour... however, it got scary after that because raw bread dough covered in oil is like a monster that will eat you alive in your sleep.  Don't leave this stuff in the fridge over night, it'll ooze out & swallow the dog like a giant D&D monster ooze from the Monster's Handbook.

Letting it rise was scary.  Yeast is scary stuff.  Trust me... see?  Terrifying.  It's ALIVE!!! ALIVE!!!

Punching it down was way scary (and ridiculously easy)  I vant to suck yur bluud...

Loading the loaf pans was not scary, and very easy.