Monday, January 26, 2015

The Beast Is Rising... um, I mean Yeast. The Yeast is Rising.

My first yeast bread as an adult.
Cuz I'm A Big Girl Now!
I've always had this irrational fear of bread making. 
Yeah, I know.  But it's true.  So I finally decided to have my mother buy the uber-scary yeast (which I then tossed in the cupboard like a dead snake - if you've ever done hay you know what I'm talking about) and specifically avoided it for a few weeks.
Today, spurred on by the lack of smell in the positively mouth-watering picture of my friend's homemade bread, I decided to scale this particular cliff, confront and slay the Evil Yeast Beast and MAKE BREAD.


Using a modern recipe:
http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/basic-homemade-bread

The reason for this is that it's (slightly) more certain than a historic recipe.  It also has reviews.  Good ones.

I'm using 1/2 pastry, 1/2 whole wheat flour vs. all purpose, mostly because it's what I had on hand. 
This was much easier than what I remember making bread being like... which is a huge, horrible, stinky, sticky mess.  This was not that at all.
 
First, it was scary (yeast is scary).  No, it really is scary.  Trust me.
 
Mixing it up was scary easy.

I was afraid it would be really sticky, and it was for like 8 seconds.

OK, maybe 12 seconds...

Then I kneaded it for 10 minutes, during which time I was no longer afraid.  Nor did I take pictures because my hands were all flour... however, it got scary after that because raw bread dough covered in oil is like a monster that will eat you alive in your sleep.  Don't leave this stuff in the fridge over night, it'll ooze out & swallow the dog like a giant D&D monster ooze from the Monster's Handbook.

Letting it rise was scary.  Yeast is scary stuff.  Trust me... see?  Terrifying.  It's ALIVE!!! ALIVE!!!